Perhaps one of the biggest snags in any relationship is arguing over something stupid. How many times have you found yourself in a heated argument with your significant other and realized later that the cause of it was something so trivial that is wasn’t even worth it in the end? Among the many factors that make up a strong relationship, good communication skills rank very high on the list. Learning how to communicate with your significant other, married or dating, is the quickest way for everything else to fall into place.

It is no secret that men and women perceive things differently. Because of this, couples should take more care to really try and find out what their partners are trying to say to them. Are you not quite sure? Then guess what: open your mouth and ask for clarification! Sometimes our partners are so convinced that what they’re saying makes sense, when in reality it’s being lost in translation. There is nothing wrong with saying, “Hey, I’m not sure we’re on the same page. Can you help me better understand what you meant when you said…” Male or female, the need for clarification is the best way to avoid a misunderstanding or acting on that misunderstanding, which is even worse.

Not only does communication mean learning how to use your words to communicate with your partner, but how to read his/her body language as well. For example, ladies, when you sweetie gets home, does he look exhausted? Does he sit down or does he slump down onto the couch? If he’s showing signs of being tired, chances are coming up to him and nagging about what needs to be done around the house or using this moment to talk about your day isn’t going to improve his mood. Read his body language. Focus on him and ask if he’s feeling okay. If he’s the type to say that everything is fine, even when it’s not, let him be and instead ask if there’s anything he needs (maybe a cold beer?). Giving your partner some time to get out of their funk will greatly improve their chances of opening up to you later on.

Fellas, it’s no secret that women love to talk most times…and usually about things that probably don’t matter to you one way or another. This is especially true when it comes to venting. Both men and women are guilty of it, but oftentimes women tend to communicate by venting in a way that men simply do not understand. Sometimes men have the tendency to want to fix the problem, when in reality women just want someone to listen. If you’re not sure how to communicate with your significant other during this time, wait for her to take a breather and casually ask if she simply wants an ear to listen to her or if she needs any advice. The fact that you even cared to ask will go a long way.

Good communication in a relationship also means being polite. Just because you’ve been with someone in a relationship for years doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still take the time to say “thank you” or “I appreciate you” in addition to “I love you.” It really is the little things that count and while you don’t have to go overboard with the compliments or tokens of affection, caring enough to do such things at all can take your relationship to a completely different level.

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