Do you have a friend who has an unhealthy habit that not only rules their life, but is ruining their health? Do you know someone who has an eating disorder – be it eating too much, too little or all wrong? Is someone you love struggling to improve their mental health as well as their physical well-being? If you do, you can be the one to change a life.

Before you jump in as the self-help guru, it will help you to keep a level-head and a patient demeanor if you commit a few helpful tips to memory.

First, remember that not everyone wants help when you think they should. If your friend hasn’t asked you for help, but you know she needs it, try to start the conversation in a non-confrontational way. If she receives the offer for help, then great, you’re off to a good start. If she doesn’t, don’t be surprised and don’t be discouraged. Often, the best thing you can do is to state your concerns clearly and simply and then remain available and supportive. If you are the friend who is consistent and strong, you may very well be the person she comes to when she realizes she truly needs help.

Whatever bad habit or poor health routine your friend or family member may be fighting, when you’ve been given the open door to be a helpful supporter it is important to remember that even if your friend confides in you, you don’t know every thought and emotion behind the problem. Continue to be a better listener than talker. Listen carefully and hear what the person is saying. Don’t listen waiting only for your chance to speak. Listen so you can respond.

Help set goals that are easily met and goals that are met only with hard work. When you can make a big deal about an accomplishment it will help make it harder for your friend to quit and give up. Make realized goals like hurdles that your friend would have to jump over to give up. Help make it harder to return to the negative health patterns than to keep improving.

Help keep track of milestones. When your buddy really wants the chocolate or the drink or the fatty food they’re working to kick, you’ll be able to remind them how far they’ve come and how close they are to accomplishing their next goal.

Lead by example. If your friend needs to drop some weight, offer to be his walking partner. If it’s a bad habit that needs to be kicked, perhaps you have a quirk or two you could overcome along with her. Once you’ve made a plan, stick to it just as diligently as you hope your friend will. Soon you’ll find that you’re enjoying better health as well.

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